Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Funny English Story
One day ,my english teacher asked me a question in class :Li ,can you tell me which three words that students use most when answer [ˈænsə] the teacher's question? Li was embarrassed [ɪmˈbærəst] (尴尬): I don't know. then the teacher smiled :Yes ,you are right.
which three words ? You know?
this three words is : I 、 don't 、 know
有一天，我的英语老师问我一个问题在课堂上：鲍勃，你能告诉我这三个单词，学生使用最多的时候回答[ˈæ纳秒ə]老师的问题吗？鲍勃很尴尬[ɪMˈBæRə圣]（尴尬）：我不知道。然后老师笑了：是的，你是对的。
这三个字？你知道吗？
这三句话是：我不知道、、
Hellow,my name is xxx,I'm xx years old. i like xxxxxxx,i don't like xxxxx,my favourite food is xxxx,on the weekend i usually xxxxx,sometime i xxxxx,that all,thank you!
英语小故事大全
1、The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.
Zeal should not outrun discretion.
有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。 这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身遭不幸。
2、The Boys And The Frogs 男孩和青蛙
One spring day some naughty boys were playing near a pond. They began to throw stones into the water. In the pond lived many frogs were much afraid of the boys, for the stones hurt some of the frogs. At last an old frog lifted his head out of the water and said, ¨Boys, please don‟t throw stones at us.〃The boys said, ¨We are only playing.〃 ¨I know that, but please stop throwing stones, my boys. What is play to you is death to us,〃 said the old frog. So the boys stopped throwing stones and went away.
春天里的一天，一些顽皮的男孩在一个水塘边玩耍。他们开始往水里扔石块。许多生活在水塘里的青蛙非常害怕这些男孩，因为石头曾弄伤了他们中的一些。最后一只老青蛙把他的脑袋探出水面，他说：“孩子们，请别向我们扔石头。”男孩说：“我们只是在玩耍。”“我知道，但请别扔石头，孩子们。对你们而言的玩耍对我们可意味着死亡。”老青蛙说。因此男孩们不再扔石头并且离开了
你可以在百度搜索 “华琴英语笑话”，里面的笑话全部短小精悍，很适合你的水平，而且全部有中文翻译
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