求批改 英语作文

Should a college education focus on cultivating and encouraging the imagination of students or on teaching basic facts and standards so that we all share a certain amount of common knowledge?

I’ll give my vote to the suggestion that college education should focus on cultivating and encouraging the imagination of students.At first,one’s imagination dominates one’s creativity. Just as a famous saying goes:“Where you can stay depends on where you think you can.” Agood exemple to PROVE this point is Hannibal,who fought a great battle against the Romans. Hannibal LED his elephants to climb across the snowmoutains before raiding the Romans’ back. It’s a great challenge that no one had even dareD to consider it. But Hannibal made it. With twenty frozen elephants appeared behind the Romans,he won a great battle in humAns’history.And all these depend on his imagination. Thus we can draw a conclusion: Imagination is a ladder which leads us to the peak of our life.
In contrast to imagination, basic facts and standards play a rudimentary role in our life.They can only AFFECT us when we are amateurs of a new field,but they can neither broaden our horizons nor further our outlook on things.In China,many colleges just focus on the basic facts and knowledge,neglecting what the society really needs,which is a critical reason that Chinese always lack masters and world-famous scientists while in China there are numorous talented teenagers.By contrast,it’s clear to us that imagination is superior to basic knowledge and facts in college,and the latter can only serve students effectively when in primary schools.
Therefore,I HAVE made the conclusion that college education should focus on cultivating the imagination of students.For instance,professors can just put forward the hot issues for students and leave everything else for college students to investigate and create.Instead of setting up standard answers,professors should take their charge in EVALUATING students’ work and giving constructive advice to students.
To recap my point,imagination can shape a better future for college students than basic knowledge.

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Should college education focus.....

At first,one’s imagination dominates one’s creativity
改成：At first, imagination nurtures one’s creativity

Where you can stay depends on where you think you can
改成：your mind decides where you are

Imagination is a ladder which leads us to the peak of our life.
改成：imagination is THE ladder that leads us to the pinnacle of life
如果你使用which，前面要用逗号隔开　　

In China, many colleges just focus on the basic facts and knowledge, neglecting what the society really needs, which is a critical reason that Chinese always lack masters and world-famous scientists while in China there are numerous talented teenagers.
改成：In China, many colleges just (focus on the basic facts and knowledge and neglect what the society really needs), which is a critical reason why Chinese still lack masters and world-famous scientists while talented teenagers are not in shortage.
( )内的句子，让后面的which修饰

Therefore, I made the conclusion that college education should focus on cultivating the imagination of students. For instance, professors can just put forward the hot issues for students and leave everything else for college students to investigate and create. Instead of setting up standard answers, professors should take their charge in valuing students’ work and giving constructive advice to students.
改成：Therefore, I conclude that college education should focus on cultivating the imagination of students. For instance, professors can just put forward hot issues to students, and let students improvise their own conclusions. Instead of setting up standard answers, professors should only asses students’ work and provide constructive advice to students.