最好的英语搞笑剧本有那些？

三只小猪英语剧本2006/12/07 07:16 P.M.The Story of the Three Little Pigs
旁白：There was an old mother with three little pigs, and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune.
妈妈：Goodbye,kids!build your own house,but be careful of the wolf.
三只小猪：goodbye,mum.
旁白：three pigs leaved their mother.after a while they met a man with a bundle of straw.
Pig one: “Please, grandpa, give me that straw to build me a house."
稻草爷爷：the house will be beautiful,but it easy to be broken down by wind.
Pig one:never mind.only for live.
稻草爷爷：it’s ok.here you are.
旁白：Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it.then he went into his house,said happily.
Pig one:haha!now the wolf can’t catch me and eat me.
旁白：pig one falled asleep in his house.then pig two met a man with a bundle of sticks.
Pig two: "Please, man, give me that sticks to build a house."
旁白： Which the man did, and the pig built his house.pig three knew the house is not strong，but it is easy to do.so he lived in the house.pig three keep going.The third little pig met a man with a load of bricks.
Pig three:"Please, man, give me those bricks to build a house with."
旁白：So the man gave him the bricks, and he built his beautiful house with them.
Pig three:ok!my house is so hard.i mustn’t scare of the wolf.
旁白：Presently came along a wolf, he knocked at the pigone’s door.
狼： "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
pigone answered: "No, no, go away."
The wolf: "Then I"ll huff, and I"ll puff, and I"ll blow your house in."
旁白：So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in。 pig one is scared,fortunetely he run away to the pig two’s house.
Pig one:I’m regretful that I didn’t listen to the grandpa.
旁白：Then along came the wolf。He is shouting.
Wolf: "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
Pig one and two:"No, no, go away."
Wolf:"it’s very easy.sticks is not strong.Then I"ll puff, and I"ll huff, and I"ll blow your house in."
旁白：So he huffed, and he puffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and at last he blew the house down, luckily the little two pigs run away to pig three’s house.they are scared,but pig three seemed not to be afraid.
旁白：the wolf came, as he did to the other little pigs。
Wolf:Little pig, little pig, open the door."
Threepigs:"No, no, you are the wolf.go away"
Wolf:"Then I"ll huff, and I"ll puff, and I"ll blow your house in."
旁白：Well, he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could not get the house down. When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down。
Wolf: "Little pig, I know where there is a nice field of turnips."
Three pigs:"Where?"
Wolf:"Oh, in Mr. Smith"s home field, and if you will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you, and we will go together and get some for dinner."
Three pigs:"Very well,I will be ready. What time do you mean to go?"
Wolf:"Oh, at six o"clock."
旁白：Well, the little pig got up at five, and got the turnips before the wolf came。At 6 o’clock,the wolf came.
Wolf: "Little pig, are you ready?"
The little pig said, "Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice potful for dinner."
旁白：Then the wolf was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig。
Wolf:you three little pigs.　I wanna eat you.i will get down your chimney,and eat you.
旁白：When the little pigs saw what he was about, they hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire, and, just as the wolf was coming down, took off the cover, and in fell the wolf; so the little pig put on the cover again in an instant. The wolf died, they lived happily ever afterwards.
Three pigs:sing a song.

正是午时，天空却已乌云盖日，一片昏暗。
　　刀神葡萄正在疾步行走，匆匆而行，突然被挡住去路，急停而止。
　　葡萄微笑道：“朋友，在下身有要事，赶路匆忙，还烦请让一下路，让我过去。多谢！”
　　没有回应。
　　葡萄正言道：“朋友，请让开。多谢！”
　　依然没有回应。
　　葡萄微怒道：“我说的话你没有听见吗？让开！”
　　还是没有回应。
　　葡萄冷笑道：“我刀神纵横江湖这么年，从来没有敢挡住我的去路！莫非你活得不耐烦了？！”
　　完全没有回应。
　　葡萄愤怒了：“既然你想死，那我就成全你！看刀－－我劈－－”
　　果然是刀神！
　　拔刀、出刀、刀劈出，都在一瞬间完成。
　　只听得“当啷”一声巨响。
　　葡萄叫道：“哎呀，吗的，谁这么缺德啊，把个雕像摆路中间！”

小明从妓院偷了一只鹦鹉，刚带回家，鹦鹉说道：“搬家了！”
小明妈妈从楼上下来，鹦鹉看到了说：“老板也换了。”刚好他姐姐也下楼来，鹦鹉又说：“小姐也换了。”看到小明爸爸时，鹦鹉说：“我Cao！wo还是老顾客！”

去书店买一本英语笑话(加翻译)

The first act (New Oriental course TOEFL)
Xu Zhu: TOEFL exam for fear of suffering, the bitter cold of winter and summer this year and then 250 examination, Anjiu home selling sweet potato (sit)
Qiao Feng: one year after year, the TOEFL test in mid-na upset! No way, want to go abroad, have Cauto. (Sitting)
Duan Yu: Everybody says I'm 'Kin'. Left, as Emil Chau; right, as Ekin Cheng; point of view, as Dicky Cheung; the next, like Ken Takakura. Shuai long, no way, Who is Daddy, I do Zhennan Wang Dali!
Qiao Feng: ah, what book? (Robbed of the virtual book) false: over! ... Take over ...
Joe: What books break! Virtual: breaking book? I managed to find out!
Joe: ah? Students Do you also ** University of Shuli Ji? False: yes ah.
Joe: Xingkuaixinghui! I am a class 9 Shuli Xi Qiao Feng Meng Nan ah!
Virtual: I am the seven Xu Zhu ah!
: Two senior, the two older, one younger brother by al. (Joe, false: You also?) Right ah! I am the guy five Duan Yu ah! Xinghuixinghui ... ...
Joe: two ah! This TOEFL test, still a long way to the future of hardship and difficulties of our three so rare coming, I do, it is better for our sworn brothers in the future or to have a care ah!
: Good! That is your big brother, the second oldest brother, I Sandi is a (good good)
False: true life, He Qiu Fu-fu ah! Since then, university is still a long way, I had never lonely.
Joe: good brother, let's go to drink! (Zou Zouzou ...)
Virtual: hey ~ ~ ~ not ah! New Oriental has been too far away from the pub.
: All right all right, I have a Coke. (Joe: The brother of you want to really thoughtful ah!) Big brother to drink! (Good)
Joe:, Er Di. (Virtual finish given above) Sandi drink! (Paragraph is to drink, and the tomb of King play)
Wang: cousin, here is far better ah �6�1 Why must it come?
Mu: I think Murong Fu detract from the fact that, so Yushulinfeng abroad is a dream of my life, I have to leave the country I want to go abroad, I have to leave the country! ! (The two do next)
OTC: Today, we all go to the well-known native ** University teachers, who prepared "" has been translated into languages三七二十二publication.
Foreign (play): HELLO! This is really exciting people ah! Chou Chou girl this young man a number of long-Jun-na! I saw this old man happy psychological ah!
To be: not to say that you are not native? How so well that the Chinese, but also to bring it taste?
Foreign: En ... ... The native speaker, foreign teachers, referred to as the speaker. Now, let's look at, Qiao Feng (to!) Xu Zhu (to!) Duan Yu, Duan Yu! Duan Yu did not come? (Received!) Wang Yan language (to) Murong Fu (to!) Well, let's start the following classes, I put this lesson the main content wrote on the blackboard.
: Students, students, the words read how ah? (King: I do not know.) You do not know ah? I recite it to you! (Mu: What level!) Gangen you than I do? (Mu: more than than!)
Apart: A! A good good A! I like to watch the old man of the match, I Come to you when the referee (made of paper), prepared to start! ! Take advantage of this time, I put all of the tests to tell us that this test as long as it is translated word, the contents are: North martial art offerings, Excalibur six vein, micro-scale waves step降龙十八掌. A child's cry clang clang, clang clang of child's cry, do not have to Gossip, (see table) that the time to close! (Collection of paper, see), announced the following results, the score, N ratio, the winner, Murong Fu! (Mu stand up and wave), and the students, our lesson today on the last of this, the class (step down)
Joe, false: Black really ah! �6�1 the school so soon?