One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿?
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗?
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”
听你的口音像是天津人嘛!你也是回家探亲的嘛?
看来是遇上老乡了,我是回去参加一个实习工程的,你是哪个专业的?
我是信息管理与信息工程的,你呢?
我市市场营销的,大家都是一个院的哈!
今天人好多,不知道能不能买上票?
是啊!好想回家啊! you seem to be from tianjin according to your accent!do you go back home to visit your family and friends too?
it seems to cross a country's path,but i am going to take a part in a exercitation.which speciality are you in?
i'am in information manegement and engineering,and you?
i'am in market research,so we are in the same academy!
and there are so many people here today.i don't know wether i can get a ticket.
so am i!how i want to be home!
A:hello,my friend.how are you?你好,朋友,最近怎样?B:oh.Not very sucessful.不是很顺利A:What is the matter?发生了什么事?B:yesterday I have went to the theatre.The drama is very interesting and I have a good seat.昨天我去了剧院,戏剧很有趣,我也有一个很好的座位。A:That is great!那真是太棒了!B:But a young man and a young woman is sitting behind me and the are talking,I can not hear a word!但是有一名年轻男子与一名年轻女子坐在我身后很大声的讲话,我便根本听不见戏剧中的一个字!A:Then?然后呢?B:So I turn around and look at them angryly,but they do not pay attention ,they are still talking于是我转过身去生气的看着他们,但是他们并没有注意到仍旧在说话B:In the end I could not put up with them,so I turn around again and shout:“please be quiet ,i can not hear the actor! "后我忍无可忍了,再次生气的转过去吼道:"请你们安静一点,我根本听不见演员在讲什么·!A:Did they stop?他们停下来了吗?B:The man said crudely:"It is none of your bussiness ,it is a private conversation!”那名男子粗鲁的说:“这不关你的事,这是一场私人谈话!”
A: What about going to hear a country-and-western singer tonight?
B: That's fine. I'm looking forward to it.
A: I'll pick you up around 8:00.
B: OK. I'll see you then.
A: See you!