请英语高手帮我点评我的这篇英语四级作文，非常感谢。

Many people think that fresh water in our earth【 is not】（改成can not be）used up.They hold this opinion because the rainwater,well water,river water in our earth is abundant.In addition,with the development of science.People can use some equipments to【 make the seawater turn to fresh water】.（改成turn the seawater into the drinking water.）
Actually,the deposit of fresh water in our world is very 【short】 (改为limited).【The following are the reasons for the above idea】（改成the reasons are as followed理由如下，会不会好点，因为你这句话有点罗嗦）.First,a large number of people live 【in our earth】（改成on the earth，原句有点过于中式） and 【they need to drink all the time】（all the time 是一直的意思，表意有点过度了，直接说他们需要饮用水会更好，they need sufficient drinking water.）.Second,with the development of industry,a great quantity of fresh water 【are】 (改成 is )【used to produce】(改成used for producing).Furthermore,most people 【haven't awareness to protect 】（改成dont have the awareness of protecting）our fresh water and always waste it.
In order to solve 【the problem of global shortage of fresh water】(改成 this global-water-shortage-problem),we should take some【 measure 】(加 s )to make it.To begin with,every country must make a law to limit the industrial waste water 【】（加上or ）th rowed into the rivers arbitrary .Moreover,we should form 【have 】a（去掉have） good habit of protecting fresh water.

结构还算不错..句子有些嫌罗嗦，从句可以适当多用些。希望能帮到你

1. It is caused by lack of awareness among people. They think of fresh water as an inexorable source, when in fact to water is rather scarce in a society that now demands large amounts of water for consumption for daily purposes as well as support for industries.
2. What is the question? Is that a complete sentence?
3. In order to eliminate the shortage of water, we must raise awareness of the scarcity of water, cease to waste it, and create laws to regulate the disposal of industrial waste into rivers.

通篇文章读下来，首先觉得你的语法知识很好。几乎没有一点儿错误。同时条理清晰。观点明确。其中用的比较出彩的地方是第二段“with”句的使用和第三段首句。伴随状语或目的状语的使用让人读起来流畅，不像一些硬套上去的定语从句。
我不知道你是不是大一的，觉得这个跟我大一时差不多，写作没脱离高中时影子——缺乏地道流畅的表达，没有能体现大学生英语在不断学习充电的亮点。
1.词汇问题。首先，考四级我们应该会学会换掉垃圾词汇、多用形容词副词。背四级单词是必须的。比如最后一节，take some measures完全可以把some替换成some effective，使之更生动。
2.没有语法错误但应该改变的句子。首句换成will not be used up更好。第二段结尾换成...are not aware of更好。这些可以通过多阅读，背好句子来改变。
3.句子过于单一化。定语可以用从句啊，不一定用分词。被动语态，各种从句多用用。
总之，我觉得你应该是比较喜欢英语的，希望你能多多阅读，多多积累。那些作文总结文档可以看看。长难句最好在开头结尾用用，增加亮点。据说四级作文只有17秒评卷时间。希望我的点评对你有用~