英语小故事带翻译 短一点 急死了

10条冷笑话,就几句话, 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." 跟你的米酥(一种零食)讲话,然后突然!表现出你被冒犯的样子,把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫,并解释:“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子!” 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼:“哇!你回来啦!!”然后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟,接着就一直看表,问他:“你是不是该出去一趟啊?” 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 做个三明治,不要吃、把它丢在地板上。然后就无视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可以大声喊饿,问:“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了!?” 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 趁你室友外出的时候,把你的鞋子沾在天花板上,等他回来的一瞬间坐在地板上,摸着头大叫痛。 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 对你室友说:“我有个重要的消息要告诉你!”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么消息了。等一会,又说“哦!我记起来了!”然后继续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个几星期。 6) Collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 买一大堆笔回来,在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边,对着它大笑。 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...." 买一些刀回来,每天晚上磨,边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝:“快了、就快了……” 8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!" 在你的鼻子上画一条细线,每天加粗一点,然后对着你的室友喊:“看!它在生长!在生长!” 9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. 把房间里所有东西都移到墙边,一边很认真地盯着地板看,一边问你室友:你觉得一头大象能有多重呢? 10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong." 收集一堆土豆、给它们分别画上脸、取名字。然后把那个以你室友命名的和其他土豆分开。几天后把它烤来吃了,跟你的室友解释说:“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……” 文章来源 http://www.qnr.cn/waiyu/yiwen/other/200910/218282.html 转载请注明出处 那你说你想要多长的!我是在人家的网站找的,不知道你要的字数,你可以自己进去再找找 http://www.qnr.cn/waiyu/yiwen/ 都是译文,英汉对照的!一般的译文都有点长

英语成语故事-井底之蛙

The Frog in the Shallow Well (Jing Di Zhi Wa)

Have you not heard of the frog that lived in a shallow well? It said to a turtle that lived in the East Sea, "I am so happy! When I go out, I jump about on the railing beside the mouth of the well. When I come home, I rest in the holes on the broken wall of the well. If I jump into the water, it comes up to my armpits and holds up my cheeks. If I walk in the mud, it covers up my feet. I look around at the wriggly worms, crabs and tadpoles, and none of them can compare with me. Moreover, I am lord of this trough of water and I stand up tall in this shallow well. My happiness is full. My dear sir, why don't you come often and look around my place?"

Before the turtle from the East Sea could get its left foot in the well, its right knee got stuck. It hesitated and retreated. The turtle told the frog about the East Sea.

"Even a distance of a thousand li cannot give you an idea of the sea's width; even a height of a thousand ren cannot give you an idea of its depth. In the time of King Yu of the Xia dynasty, there were floods nine years out of ten, but the waters in the sea did not increase. ln the time of King Tang of the Shang dynasty there were droughts seven years out of eight, but the waters in the sea did not decrease. The sea does not change along with the passage of time and its level does not rise or fall according to the amount of rain that falls. The greatest happiness is to live in the East Sea."

After listening to these words, the frog of the shallow well was shocked into realization of his own insignificance and became very ill at ease.

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英语故事:惊弓之鸟
A Bird Startled by the Mere Twang of a Bow-String

This set phrase figuratively denotes those who have suffered disasters and so have a lingering fear when anything happen.
During the War Period ,in the Wèi State there lived a famous archer named Gēng léi.
One day,Gēng léi and the King of Wei standing on a high terrace saw some birds flying past.
At this Gēng léi said to the King:"I'll shoot a flying bird down for YourMajesty by drawing a bow with no arrow."
The King asked,"Is it possible that one's archery can attain such a level?"
A little later,a wild goose was flying from the east.
Gēng léi just drew his bow but didn't shoot an arrow.
As expected,the wild goose fell to the ground with the twang.
The King asked in surprise,"How can your archery reach such a high level?"
Gēng léi replied ,"This wild goose has been wounded."
The King got more surprised,asking,"How do you know it,sir?"
Gēng léi esplained,"This wild goose flew slowly and cried sadly.Its flying slowly suggested that it was still aching with the old wound; its crying sadly suggested that it had strayed long from its flock.When it heard the twang the wild goose had to flutter hard to fly high for its life.So it is evitably fell down with its old wound burst."
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刻舟求剑
Making His Mark (Ke Zhou Qiu Jian)

A man from the state of Chu was crossing a river. In the boat, his sword fell into the water. Immediately he made a mark on the boat.

"This is where my sword fell off," he said.

When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to look for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat.

The boat had moved but the sword had not. Is this not a very foolish way to look for a sword